


Leaving it behind

by Jacrispea



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heartbreak, Jealousy, Project at Eden's Gate, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Sex, Sexual Tension, Smut, Soft Jacob Seed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 20:24:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21151691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacrispea/pseuds/Jacrispea
Summary: You're one of Jacob's Chosen - long time friend and lover/girlfriend. Things are starting to weigh on you lately. The guilt you feel from obeying Joseph's commands has gotten to be too much and the one person you're supposed to be able to lean on, won't turn on his family.The only thing you can do is leave Jacob. But doing so is proving harder to deal with than you anticipated.





	1. Chapter 1

"Faith. I didn't know where else to go..."

She looked around behind you from her cabin door but when she didn't see anyone, she brought her full attention back to you. "What's happened?"

"Jacob and I are fighting and... I haven't been home for a few days. Can I explain inside?" you asked, glancing around too. "If he sent hunters..."

"Yes, yes. Come in quickly," she agreed, waving you in. When you were both inside, she locked the door and led you to a nearby love seat. "Does he know you're in the Henbane?"

"I don't think so. I covered my tracks," you told her. "I just need some time to think. Do you mind if I stay here for a few days?"

Faith gave you a sympathetic look and grabbed your hand, leaning in. "Of course not. You're my sister. Now, what happened?"

You glanced down at her slender fingers, now rubbing your knuckles soothingly. Her face was a canvas of concern. Maybe it was just your emotions catching up to you but you trusted her. Still, you prayed it wasn't a mistake as you opened up, "I know you'll understand when I say this and trust me, I will never ever say a word to anyone. Just... Joseph is getting between us. Anything he asks of Jacob, he does without a second thought. And things are getting so out of hand lately. His methods are... just..."

"I know," she admitted, chosing to trust you too. "But Jacob is a good man. John sees me as an annoyance and Joseph... I'm not even sure anymore. But Jacob has always been kind and protected me."

"I know. He is," you agreed. "He's been changing.. for the better, I mean. But now it's like we just took a huge step backwards again."

Faith released her fingers from yours. She straightened her posture but kept her eyes on yours; the same sad eyes you had grown accustomed to over the years. 

"Changing how?"

"He isn't cold anymore. It's like he finally sees what he's doing isn't just a job. That he's not just a soldier, following orders, you know?" You stood and paced to the door again and then back; restless. "The bodies that lined the roads before are gone now. He uses targets, not people. Of course he still uses conditioning but it's just different how he treats people. He's grown..."

You paused, unsure of the right word. 

"Soft?" Faith offered. 

You laughed slightly and nodded. "Sounds crazy, I know."

"Not really. He's happy now. Now that he has you."

You thought about that for a moment and sighed, sitting back down next to her. "But yet, Joseph shows up and tells him to be harder on the Resistance and suddenly he's obsessed with the Militia again. He has this fucking hold on him that I can't break. And I just feel like it'll be like this forever. I'll never be able to help with decisions and I'll just be pulled along as an unequal partner in this."

"Well," Faith said softly. "You are most welcome here for as long as you need. I think you have some things to figure out. Let me set you up in one of the spare rooms."

\---

"Where is she?" Jacob asked calmly, trying to compose himself. His nerves were jangled the past few days and with zero sleep, he was starting to come undone. "I asked you to follow her."

"We did, sir. We followed her to the O'Hara place on the Valley's border. She stayed there a few nights but when she left, we lost her," one of his Chosen reported.

"Find her. Don't bring her back... just let me know where she is."

The Chosen nodded and left the room quickly. When they were gone, Jacob ran his hands through his hair and paced to the far wall of his office, placing both palms on the wall, leaning into it with his head ducked. He had been naive to think your bond was unbreakable. Now, he wasn't sure if you'd ever come back. The thought stirred too many emotions inside of him, but mostly regret. He could have stopped you but he let you go, foolishly thinking you'd come back after calming down in a few hours. He knew what your temper was like. 

Now, it was looking less and less likely you'd be coming home. 

"Fuck," he growled, banging his palm against the wall. 

\---

Five days. Five fucking days, it took his Chosen to find you. By the time they came to him with news, he was on edge. 

"The cabin?" Jacob asked, surprised you'd go back to your old home. 

"Yes sir. We tailed her in and watched to make sure she wasn't just getting supplies. She's been there since last night."

Jacob's hand twitched on his lap, wanting to grab the man in front of him. They had waited to be sure, he figured, but it still angered him to know he had wasted time while they withheld information. He forced a small smile and nodded, "Thank you. That's all."

He stood, taking a deep breath. It had been well over a week since you left but now he was going to try his best to bring you home.


	2. Chapter 2

You survived five days with Faith, which was surprising. Her airiness and cheerful mood were enough to grate on your sensitive nerves but you were grateful for her support. She was an excellent listener; not offering a lot of advise but allowing you to talk things through. 

By the end of the week, you were ready to go home. You knew, of course, that meant Jacob would be able to find you again but had decided it was time to confront him. As much as you hated to admit it, you needed closure. 

So now, here you were; in your cabin, waiting for the guest you knew (or at least hoped) would come. Every second that slipped by had your nerves on edge and brought you to the window to peek out continuously. When you woke from the night before and he still wasn't there, it finally hit you that maybe he wasn't coming at all. Maybe he had had the time to think things through and had decided the same thing you did - that it was time to end things. 

You were so sure that was the right thing to do until he didn't come to you through the night and your true feelings surfaced. The yearning. The tears and the heartache you felt at laying in an empty bed instead of curled up against his body. 

You sighed and laid back in bed, deciding to try for a nap. The night before had been a long and wakeful one that had left you feeling drained. Your eyes just started to close when you heard a knock at the door. 

Instantly, you were up on your feet but chose to wait a minute before going to the door, not wanting to let your desperation show. When you were confident enough time had passed, you pulled the door open. 

The first thing you noticed were his eyes - dark and shadowed. The vibrant blue that had sparkled in his irises was now replaced with a muted shade. They were not at all what you had remembered. 

"I figured you'd have someone hunting for me."

"Lost you for a bit too. Couldn't say I've been prouder of ya, pup," he said dully. 

"Yeah, well. They caught up to me," you replied, still looking up to his eyes. 

"I assumed you wanted them to. That's the reason why you came back here, wasn't it?"

You shifted, glancing down at the floor before you answered, "Well, this is my home."

Jacob caught that immediately. This cabin _was_ your home as far as he was concerned. Once you moved into St. Francis with him, this old run down place seemed a thing of the past. 

You both let the silence linger between you for a minute before he spoke again, "Can I come in?" 

"No," you said quickly. "I.. I don't think that's a good idea."

"What can I do?" Jacob asked, exasperated. "I can't turn on my family."

"I don't expect you to. I never did," you said angrily. "But I thought I meant something to you too. You treat me like my opinion doesn't matter when you and I are supposed to be planning our lives together."

"You wanted me to go against him," Jacob said calmly. He was growing frustrated but was doing his best to stay in control. Yelling never helped anyone. He knew that. 

"I wanted you to stop your hunters from murdering innocent people in the name of your brother! He talks to God, or whatever is happening but if that's true, he shouldn't want to hurt people. I don't doubt his intentions are good but his methods are fucked. I know you agree with me."

Jacob stared back at you, gritting his teeth. He wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't even sure it mattered at this point. 

"Why can't he bring people to the Project without them losing their free will? Without drugging them out of their minds or torturing them? Is that so unheard of?" you asked, lowering your voice. 

"No," Jacob said softly. 

"You can be loyal to him and still push back, Jake."

"Is that what you want?"

You ran a hand through your hair, sighing, "What I truly want is for you and I to leave this county... this state, even. To have a full life without all of this. And maybe the world will end and we won't have a bunker or be prepared and we'll die, but at least we'll be happy until then."

Jacob took a step forward but you retreated further into the house, stopping him in his tracks. He searched your face for any sign of hope that you would come back to him otherwise. 

"I can't leave them. You know that," he said firmly. 

"And I don't expect you to. Which is why I'm here and not back home with you. I don't care what you do anymore Jake... murder the whole militia if that's what you want. But I can't be a part of it anymore."

"So, that's it then?" he asked, knowing full well what you meant. 

"Yeah..." you said, just above a whisper. 

\---

That night, you laid in bed thinking of the expression Jacob had when he left. There was no goodbye. No "we'll be friends" bullshit that most people spurted off. You both knew that would never happen. 

It seemed like the right decision at the time but now that you let his expression burn into your brain, and realize the silent pain he felt, you felt like you had made the wrong choice. How could anything this painful be a good thing? You felt like your heart had been ripped out, leaving you empty and wanting. 

At first, you thought of running after him. Then you debated whether to go to St. Francis and just push everything out of your mind. But you knew that wouldn't solve a thing. 

So now you were stuck in this bubble of sorrow, knowing it was one of your own making, but unable to do anything about it.


	3. Chapter 3

You didn't see him again for another three weeks. 

In that time, depression had gripped you early and had since refused to let go. Everything reminded you of him - the trails out back in the woods, the crisp mountain air, even the smell of pines which was vaguely similiar to his scent. Sleep was impossible. You were losing weight. But yet, you couldn't bring yourself to go to him. At this point, it was more pride than anything that was holding you back. 

So it was no surprise that the next time you ran into him, it was purely by accident. 

Your friends had been reaching out to you; worried about where you had disappeared to. You didn't tell them the details - it was too hard, but they knew there was something going on. Everytime they asked you to visit, you found some excuse but today you finally decided to just give in and let them help you. 

When you got to the Stone Ridge Chalet, nothing seemed out of the ordinary to you until you approached and saw a few of the Chosen hurrying around like they were busy. You could tell by the chores or tasks they had chosen, that they were faking it but couldn't figure out why. Not until you saw him. 

Jacob stood at the entrance of the building, arms folded and head tilted slightly as he gave his full attention to the woman at his side. She was animated in her movements; chattering on and waving her hands around in little gestures as she did. When they weren't spelling out her story, she was touching the tips of her long red hair absently. 

You watched, unable to move. Jealousy flooded through your body hard and fast, bringing your fingers to your palms; pressing into the flesh. He wasn't smiling but he was paying attention, and that was enough in itself to drive you crazy. 

Everything melted around you - the sounds, the voices and the people. Your vision became lazer focused on them. 

Standing so close.

You bit the inside of your cheek and decided now was a good time to leave. You'd see your friends another day. But when Jacob turned to you and met your gaze, you couldn't let him see you retreat. 

Straightening your posture, you forced your legs to move and walked towards them. His eyes stayed on you the entire time, even when his companion placed her hand on his forearm, trying to retrieve his attention. 

As you approached, you lowered your eyes and moved past them, not acknowledging his presence. What else could you do? 

What you truly wanted was to go outside and rip her throat out, but knowing that would be petty, you chose to walk by without a word. 

\--- 

You stayed for a few hours, having dinner with your friends and sitting around; catching up. It was now dark and you announced it was time to go home. 

On your way out, the red head from earlier walked into the main sitting room and greeted everyone. As she sank down on the couch, someone asked her if Jacob was gone. 

"Yep. He left awhile ago. Poor boy looks exhausted," she announced. 

You stared at her, listening to the casual way she spoke about him. The words rolled through your mind, twisting grotesquely. When she caught you staring, she gave you a quick smile. 

You tried your best to smile back but your expression remained flat, causing her to give you a questioning look. Without another word, you left, knowing you couldn't be in the same room as her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, Jacob always ends up being soft. I can't stop myself. 😩😩😩

Jealousy was always a weakness of yours and anyone would agree that you had a temper - all of which added up to a boatload of impulsive moves and bad ideas.

It wasn't surprising to you that you somehow ended up on the doorstep of St. Francis the next day, but what was surprising was how bold you were as you made your way through the corridors without consulting the guards. They all knew you, of course but you were sure they were aware something was wrong when you hadn't been home in over a month. 

Still, none of them stopped you as you marched to the staircase leading up to the third floor; Jacob's personal floor. Not until you reached the stairs themselves. 

"Hey," Jessie greeted you as you approached. "Where the hell have you been? Jacob's been a prick lately. We've needed you here to reel him in."

"We... we're not together anymore," you told her, figuring she knew but chose to play the part for your benefit. 

The expression on her face said otherwise though. "Oh. Shit. I.. I didn't know. I'm sorry."

"It's ok. Is he up there?" you asked. 

"He is but," she glanced up the stairs and then back to you. "He has a visitor and he doesn't want to be disturbed."

Your mind instantly turned on you like a rabid dog, jumping to the first and of course, worst conclusion. "Who is it?"

"You can't go up," she repeated. 

"A red haired girl?" you asked again.

"I'm not sure. He just said to make sure I didn't let anyone upstairs. He needed some time alone with them."

Your heart started to race as the adrenaline kicked in. Without thinking, you rushed past her and sprinted up the stairs. 

"(Y/n)!" Jessie yelled. "For fuck's sake! Don't!"

You ignored her and continued on, reaching the landing and heading down the hall. You heard her footsteps behind you but you didn't turn, focusing instead on the heavy white doors in the middle of the hall. If he was anywhere, it would be his office. 

Your hands were on the doors before she reached you and pushed forcefully, letting them slam into the walls inside. When you looked into the room, your stomach instantly turned; mortified at your actions. 

"Well, hello to you too," John purred, not seeming shocked at your actions. "It's been awhile, my dear."

He stood from his seat and crossed the room, bringing you to him for a hug. As he held you, you watched Jacob over his shoulder. His eyes were wide at the sight of you. 

"I... I thought... Oh my fuck," you breathed, bringing a hand to your forehead when John released you. "I'm so sorry."

"Good job," Jacob called to his guard sarcastically, who was fidgeting at the doorway next to you. "You can leave."

Jessie ran off, visibly shaken. When you were alone with the brothers, you apologized again and turned to leave but John grabbed your wrist, bringing you back. He smiled warmly to you.

"I'm on my way out. You need to stay," he said. On his way past you, he whispered with a wink, "He's grumpy and driving us all crazy."

John swung the doors shut on his way out, leaving you in the closed room with Jacob. He stood slowly from the table, leaving his fingertips on the edge. He forced his features to soften and remain emotionless.

"I shouldn't have come here," you admitted. "I'm just so impulsive sometimes and I don't think..."

"Who did you think was in here?" he asked. 

You shook your head but he raised his eyebrows at you, letting you know he would continue to push for answers. 

"That woman you were with the other day at the Chalet," you sighed. You felt your cheeks redden as he studied your face.

"And if she was?" 

"I would have snapped her neck," you said confidently. 

"Yeah? And why is that?" Jacob asked. He wanted you to tell him you were jealous. It would mean you still had feelings for him. Even though he knew he should be furious with you, he couldn't help but let all of that go when he saw you. 

"Because you're mine," you said quietly. 

Jacob drew in a quick breath, feeling the pull between you again. Of course, it never left. You were his and he was yours. You were the only person he wanted and everything that had happened wouldn't change that. 

"You left."

"I did. But you're still mine, Jake. You'll always be mine," you said calmly. 

He moved quickly around the table, pushing a chair out of his way along the way to you. When he met you on the other side, his body was on yours in a second, pressing you backwards towards the door where you landed with a heavy bang against them. You met his lips; hungry and rough against yours. His hands tangled in your hair, pulling you closer to him. When you let out a small moan against his lips, he shifted one of his hands to your hips, kneading at the flesh before he finally moved to the button on your jeans and all but ripped it clean from the fabric. 

Your pants were down quickly and before you could reach for him, he was undoing his own. Kicking off your sneakers and pants, you let him lift you and carry you to the table where he let you wrap your legs around him. His cock stabbed at you until he could shift to your entrance and slid in easily. You were both so desperate at this point that neither of you needed warming up. Being apart for so long was enough of a build up. 

He hammered into you without easing in like he normally did, pushing every inch inside of you right away. As he did, he grunted against your lips. 

"Did you fuck her?" you asked, now panting into his ear as he moved his mouth to bite at your neck. You knew it wasn't the right time and even if he said yes, you couldn't stop this. But you needed to know. 

"Never," he replied between heavy breaths.

Your walls fluttered against his cock at the rasp in his voice and the assurance you had hoped was there. Jacob felt it too and put everything he had into his thrusts, listening to the whimpers that poured from your mouth. You wrapped your arms around him so tightly that his shoulders started to cramp but he held you like his life depended on it, half expecting you to disappear again. 

"I love you so fucking much," you told him between moans. "I'm such an idiot."

"I'll leave. We'll go..." he stopped to groan and rest his head against your shoulder as he continued to move against you. "... wherever you want."

Before you had a chance to object, you felt yourself tighten around the thickness of his shaft and a flood of emotions came with your orgasm, bringing tears to your eyes. Jacob kept his cheek to your shoulder as he found his own release, spilling into you quickly. His body shuddered with yours as you both held on to the other. 

Neither of you said anything for what felt like an hour. You both just held on, stroking the other's skin and laying kisses here and there. Your hands found his hair and you ran your fingers through it, soothing him as he rested against you. 

"I don't want to leave," you told him honestly. "I would never make you choose. I want you to be with your brothers. I just need to step away from it all."

"And from me?" Jacob asked. 

"No. Never again," you assured him. 

"I'm burning that cabin down so you have no where to hide again," he grinned. 

"I'll help."

His thumb ran over your cheek, wiping away the one tear that had found its way there. You grabbed his hand and pressed his palm to your lips, happy to be with him again. 

If you had to turn a blind eye to everything just to be with him, it was a sacrifice you'd have to make. The idea of leaving again was too much. 

And besides, the end of the world was coming and none of this would matter anyway.


End file.
